Instant thoughts - in words and colors

С палитра от бои рисува съдбата наша и диктува действия, чувства и мечти и всеки своята боя следи. Дали ще грее тя изкряща и лекота душата ще обхваща с пъстроцветни светли цветове на слънчеви лъчи и плодове? Дали ще бъдат тоновете мрачни, а дните - мъгливо-здрачни; и сякаш дълбоко под земята ще изследваш тайните на душата? Дали ще има капки, пръски, и чувствата ще бъдат дръзки; и потънал в изкуствен импресионизъм ще превърнеш изкуството в реализъм? Дали ще бъдат като от вятър отвяни и един през друг в едно преляни и безразличие, и обич, и страх, добротата вечна и вечен грях? Житейската рисунка повелява, но четката сама не се управява; багрите подбрани са от теб, от мен; нови щрихи ден след ден, ден за ден.

The glossy quint   Crystal flowers  Icy bells ringing Shelter Safe in the blur?

  Some impressions from my visit to the San Diego Zoo in August 2016

I miss you. Missing you comes and goes like a rainy day. Sometimes it is powerful and drowning like a spring storm. Other times it is a prolonged and silent sadness like a soaking autumn rain. Right now, my 'missing you' - seasons are totally messed up. I carry a lump in my throat for weeks now.. and every now and then, mostly when I lay alone in my bed, looking at the cloudy night sky, this lump explodes in a firework of emotions until I fall asleep after an enormous physical exhaustion. Logically thinking, there is no reason why I should need you back in my life. I'm happier than I ever was - I have great friends, great job, great home and oh yeah, I am spending my life with The One, My Dream Boy, My Knight in white armour. Only... there is nothing logical about missing you. I miss your smile, your laugh - sincere, sometimes a little arrogant. I miss talking to you about the wonders of the world. I miss you teaching me, showing me how to be better in so many thing...

I have almost forgotten how deep I can sink into your blue eyes. But here they are. Deep like wells of cold fresh water. And I am sinking… falling down… drowning…    I used to see you through. I used to know every thought; every hint of a smile was telling me a story. Every look was like a chapter of my favorite book and I was reading sleepless and exhaustless day and night. I could recognize the scent of your skin and your hair from afar and I could feel the touch of your fingertips on my body even when we were apart.  Only that we weren’t apart back then. We knew that the present is a gift – a gift we gave each other every day.  I knew what I had when I had you. I knew the whole time that you are surely one of the most important people in my life. I knew I will never forget you, because you were not only a friend, you were a soul mate. You opened up parts of my mind and heart I didn’t even know existed. You left a mark.  Your lips on my li...

Rip it. Be that guy. Take it out and let it bleed. Squeeze it like a lemon and drain its life. Cut it into pieces and burn them one by one. Take the ashes grey and blow them all away. Then laugh. Be that mean. Laugh upon my stupid heart my naive soul my hopeless hope. Be that guy. Please, I bet you. Cause if you're not... oh if you're not... I will surrender to these crystal eyes to those strong arms to the voice telling me "I love you" But if I do... Oh if I do... I know I'll rip it Take it out and let it bleed Squeeze it like a lemon and drain its life. Cut it into pieces and burn them one by one. Take the ashes grey and blow them all away. Someday I'll be that girl. So please, boy, please Be that guy! Don't let me be the girl you'll never love again.

Studies, work and everyday life seem to have a powerful black magic influence on everyone. Well, on me. Maybe on you too, if you're still reading. Get up, get a shower, grab a breakfast (with accent on -fast-...), rush to work/school/lecture/whatever you have to do, get back home, sit whole evening zombielike in front of the PC/TV/any other digital invention you could think of, go to bed. And start again. So as time goes by, you not only stop having time for fun, but you stop looking for it too. Yesterday a friend of mine asked me to go to a party with her. I didn't have anything special to do apart from the zombielike session I mentioned above, but still I pondered. A lot. And after an hour or so, I realized I was not thinking what to do, so I can go to the party, but how to tell her politely I was too lazy and too afraid I may come out of my comfort zone. That was kind of shocking. I instantly told her I'll come. Before I had enough time to think it over and fall ba...