A Midnight Letter to a Friend
I miss you.
Missing you comes and goes like a rainy day. Sometimes it is powerful and drowning like a spring storm. Other times it is a prolonged and silent sadness like a soaking autumn rain.
Right now, my 'missing you' - seasons are totally messed up. I carry a lump in my throat for weeks now.. and every now and then, mostly when I lay alone in my bed, looking at the cloudy night sky, this lump explodes in a firework of emotions until I fall asleep after an enormous physical exhaustion.
Logically thinking, there is no reason why I should need you back in my life. I'm happier than I ever was - I have great friends, great job, great home and oh yeah, I am spending my life with The One, My Dream Boy, My Knight in white armour.
Only... there is nothing logical about missing you. I miss your smile, your laugh - sincere, sometimes a little arrogant. I miss talking to you about the wonders of the world. I miss you teaching me, showing me how to be better in so many things. But most of all, I miss you looking at me with trust, with faith, with hope and with passion. I miss those happy eyes and this sharp mind, ready to conquer the world. With me.
But it never was 'with me' , was it? You and me, we are strong, too strong and too stubborn for our own good. Too similar. We were both trying to be the leader of the same two-person team.
When I think about what I miss the most, what was best, what I still need in my life, I know it is not a romantic story. We did have this and it was magical... but what we rocked at was the friendship, the partner-in-crime-part, the take-my-hand-and-run-into-this-adventure-time.
What I ask myself in a rainy day like today is, is there a slight chance to rock it once again? Will I ever be ready for this? Will you? Will the chance play on our side then and bring us together in a better way this round? As friends?
Missing you comes and goes like a rainy day. Sometimes it is powerful and drowning like a spring storm. Other times it is a prolonged and silent sadness like a soaking autumn rain.
Right now, my 'missing you' - seasons are totally messed up. I carry a lump in my throat for weeks now.. and every now and then, mostly when I lay alone in my bed, looking at the cloudy night sky, this lump explodes in a firework of emotions until I fall asleep after an enormous physical exhaustion.
Logically thinking, there is no reason why I should need you back in my life. I'm happier than I ever was - I have great friends, great job, great home and oh yeah, I am spending my life with The One, My Dream Boy, My Knight in white armour.
Only... there is nothing logical about missing you. I miss your smile, your laugh - sincere, sometimes a little arrogant. I miss talking to you about the wonders of the world. I miss you teaching me, showing me how to be better in so many things. But most of all, I miss you looking at me with trust, with faith, with hope and with passion. I miss those happy eyes and this sharp mind, ready to conquer the world. With me.
But it never was 'with me' , was it? You and me, we are strong, too strong and too stubborn for our own good. Too similar. We were both trying to be the leader of the same two-person team.
When I think about what I miss the most, what was best, what I still need in my life, I know it is not a romantic story. We did have this and it was magical... but what we rocked at was the friendship, the partner-in-crime-part, the take-my-hand-and-run-into-this-adventure-time.
What I ask myself in a rainy day like today is, is there a slight chance to rock it once again? Will I ever be ready for this? Will you? Will the chance play on our side then and bring us together in a better way this round? As friends?
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